Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama


michael lerner wants to create a liberal tea party

While this blog is usually reserved to air out my own personal bile towards blowhards and evil dicks, every once and a while I actually do read things that I like and/or agree with. In dark days such as these, I usually don’t see it coming, but I’m proud to say that Michael Lerner’s recent op ed for the Washington Post is one such occasion.

Through extensive research I have determined that Michael Lerner the op ed contributor is not the actor who played Mel Horowitz on the first season of Clueless, the late, great TGIF show; but rather a super sweet progressive rabbi/lawn gnome:

This diminutive forest dweller of British lore is the first progressive thinker that I’ve read who has had the demented genius/huevos to stand up and say: the problem with the Democrat Party isn’t that it’s too much of a circus, but that it’s not a circus so psychotic that you could imagine Dennis Kucinich manically humping an axe bass guitar while dripping blood from his extended three foot tongue onto the House Floor while a politically reanimated Alan Greyson, in three foot tall silver platform boots, wails on about his “Love Gun.” It’s fucking genius, and about fucking time.

Michael Lerner is looking for any progressive with a head full of good ideas and some spare capital to quixotically run against Obama in 2012 to his left. The results just might knock the man at least a little bit back to the left, where he should have been all along. Check out this thesis:

But there is a real way to save the Obama presidency: by challenging him in the 2012 presidential primaries with a candidate who would unambiguously commit to a well-defined progressive agenda and contrast it with the Obama administration’s policies. Such a candidacy would be pooh-poohed by the media, but if it gathered enough popular support – as is likely given the level of alienation among many who were the backbone of Obama’s 2008 success – this campaign would pressure Obama toward much more progressive positions and make him a more viable 2012 candidate.

This statement goes directly up against the prevailing logic that the Democrat Party’s big tent scheme of kumbaya inclusive politics has failed and that they need to consolidate ideologically in order to move forward on a unified front. That prevailing notion is bullshit.

When the Republican Party got their asses handed to them in two national election cycles, they rebounded with an astro-turf movement of thoroughly disagreeable nut-bags, fatties, red-necks and hacks masquerading as a libertarian uprising: the TEA Party. A group so insane that professional old lesbian impersonator, and Republican vanguard member Lindsey Graham has joined a chorus of like minded wrinkley people in blaming them for the limited gains in the 2010 election.

Regardless of that kerfluffle, much ado has been made about conflict between the super-right wing nut-baggery of the TEA Party, and the everyday corrupt villainy of the GOP. This conflict has been going on as far back as 2009, where a likely Republican Rep. seat went to a Democrat because the TEA baggers bucked an establishment Repub in favor of a certified nincompoop in upstate New York.

Since then, well you know the story: the turf got greener, and the nuts got… nuttier, and the Republican Party moved so far to the right that there’s no center in sight anymore. I mean these TEA Party twits have managed to hold the entire party hostage while at the same time purging themselves of any moderate impulses that might slip by the party. Even the “thinking man’s conservative,” political tumor Newt Gingrich, has been forced to throw the barking seals a sardine or two of hateful anti-Obama rhetoric to keep his slim presidential nod chances dancing.

From a certain perspective, the Conservative movement is a mess in this country and yet the view from reality shows a front of unified opposition to common sense. In short, if you’re a few blog posts away from being a fascist, this is the golden age of your kind of lunacy.

Lerner dementedly (and correctly) points out that we can do the same! We’ve got no shortage of wing-nuts and we’ve got no shortage of legitimate lefties to throw up our own obnoxious insurgency to further polarize the political landscape! Listen to this:

[The hard liberal candidate’s] policy platform must be matched with a willingness to talk clearly about the spiritual and ethical need for a new bottom line – one of love, kindness and generosity. We need a progressive push for a new New Deal, which in the 21st century could be the Caring Society: “Caring for Each Other and the Earth.”

Somebody get this man a drink, he’s on fire! Yes, the “Caring Society,” it’s no “Death Panels,” but hey, it’s a start! This is exactly the kind of fire-under-the-nuts thinking we need from progressives to get the Democrats their groove back. Michael Lerner seems to be the only man in the house who fully understands what it means to have a totally gonzo opposition that will not negotiate on any terms but their own.

Until someone over at the Party to Retain America’s Last Remaining Shred of Dignity wakes up and realizes we are in a post-Hope political ecosphere, maybe Michael Lerner and I can stand outside of Tim Kaine’s office and play this on repeat:

(Read the whole piece at the Washington Post)


kids who get to meet President Obama say the darndest things

Too bad Obama had such a fiercely directional mic, otherwise we’d be hearing a big ol’ “awwwww” from this New Orleans town hall sesh:

(Via ThinkProgress)


Ross Douthat is an idiot (part II)

So I’m back after an extended Columbus Day break, and while I was gone, this came to my attention. You guys know me, and you know I love the Times, but to publish Ross Douthat’s blithering stupidity is ridiculous and shameful for such an important and righteous publication. Now Ross has published garbage in the past, and he’s been a target here before as well, but in the Sunday Times, he went too far!

In a snarky little peice, Mr, Douthat helpfully pointed out not only is Barack’s Nobel Prize bad for the country, but also that it’s most likely bad for him as a president as well. In the world that Ross occupies (and gets paid by the New York Times to muse about), Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize is the rough equivalent to invading a country for no reason, failing to do anything about the visible signs that the economy was about to collapse, letting the infrastructure of the nation fall apart, and illegally torturing people because it raises the stakes on the already “implosible expectations” that his presidency was burdened with.

Ross Douthat, you are sniveling puddin’ head of a nincompoop. This article has it all, the classic anti-European xenophobia:

Here was a chance to establish himself, definitively, as an American president — too self-confident to accept an unearned accolade, and too instinctively democratic to go along with European humbug.

He didn’t take it. Instead, he took the Nobel Peace Prize.

Big mistake.

Good work Ross, looking back at history, all great American presidents have defined themselves as definitely not European, which means they are de facto American. Not this latte sipping arugula eating Hawaiian bastard, though.

The article also bears the stamp of the classic conservative double standard called “American Exceptionalism.” Conservatives like Ross Douthat like to talk loudly about how America, the greatest, most righteous and powerful nation on the planet has the right to dick over the Third World, invade countries meaninglessly, and act unilaterally against reason because we’re freakin’ awesome. And then, when it’s convenient they love to tell you that America should aim low because they’re pragmatists and they know what’s up. For instance, America can’t have universal health care like every other industrialized nation on the planet because we, the richest, most powerful nation on earth can’t afford to cover all the Mexicans running across our border. This rears it’s stupid head repeatedly throughout Ross’ stupid article:

Here was an opportunity to cut himself free, in a stroke, from the baggage that’s weighed his presidency down — the implausible expectations, the utopian dreams, the messianic hoo-ha.

Here was a place to draw a clean line between himself and all the overzealous Obamaphiles, at home and abroad, who poured their post-Christian, post-Marxist yearnings into the vessel of his 2008 campaign.

Yes Ross, those over-zealous “Obamaphiles” who hoped that a charismatic black man with a background in social justice work and constitutional law might bring his intelligence and rhetorical gifts to the White House and have the US not look like an asshole country for a change, those pie in the sky post-Christian, post-Marxist hope that our country can do better. You got us, buddy.

I wonder if the ineptitude of the Federal Government’s response to Katrina would have been harder to take if Bush had set the level high during the first six or so years of his presidency? Maybe Reagan looked so good (through rose colored retrospectacles) because Jimmy Carter was such a load for his four preceding years? I wonder if it would have been more difficult to see horrible pictures released from Abu Ghraib if we didn’t already know Bush was a crook and an asshole after he needlessly invaded Iraq and had signed the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act into existence?

Ross Douthat, you’re an idiot.


the Politico staff wins a pulitzer

In a terrific leap of logic, Politico is reporting a definitive link between a celebrity child molester and Barack Obama via campaign contributions. As it turns out, Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign have been palling around with people who support a guy who “palled around” with a 13 year old girl thirty years ago. Yes, that’s right, Barack Obama is, in the eyes of a select few, is now connected with a child molester.

So kids, this is journalism. Brilliant.

All kidding aside, this is a travesty. Politico is a smarmy little website for wannabe wonks and Beltway outsiders to gawk at the childish machinations of our nations fetid capital. This is a website that has recently been busted for very literally running an Republican press release as an actual news story, and is a website that makes its living by tabloidizing American politics. Some call it grand political theater, others call it the dumbing down of important things so that even the half baked mental third-graders that read the site during non-election years will both be able to comprehend politics and still be interested after they do so.

You can read this heaping pile of dog shit, here.


much ado about nothing?

Two wars! Health care crisis! Global warming! Rabies outbreaks! Swine flu endemics! ETC!!!! ETC!!!!!! Today’s pressing issue; America is denied the Olympics! Sound the alarm Matty Drudge; now that health care may resolve itself, will the 2016 Olympics Obama’s Waterloo?

Shameful boobs all across the pundit-sphere are toasting to America’s failure to host our ninth Olympic games, and neglecting to really comment on Rio’s hosting the Olympics for the first time ever. Also never really mentioned is the fact that leaders from every other country making a bid were represented by their very own executive branches, you giant babies.

And yet, whiny, dishonest turds like Jules Crittanden, The Weekly Standard, Big Government (the blog, not the myth) and Ed Driscoll are gloating about “Obama’s loss.” Of course, conservatives all across the fifty states have been just glowing about how silly Barack decided to go to stupid Copenhagen (and for the record, Weekly Standard readers, that’s a real life city, not just a brand of dip), and lobby for America to host an UNPRECEDENTED ninth Olympic Games.

Here’s what universally regarded simpleton Rick Moran of (the always aptly titled) Pajama’s Media had this to say:

He placed the prestige of his presidency directly on the line and failed. That’s the bottom line. He gambled with the one thing no president should ever gamble with unless the stakes are much higher than his hometown getting the Olympic games.

You mouthbreather! Unbelievable that this Neanderthal is allowed to write in a semi-public forum. Where are his calls for Yukio Hatoyama’s political head, you unbelievable ignorant prick! How about this gastropod’s simpleton’s approach to historical precedent:

What stakes would have justified such a gamble? Jimmy Carter gambled that he could bring Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin to Camp David and hash out a peace deal. The odds were against it. It was a huge gamble and Carter, to his credit, worked tirelessly, shuffling back and forth between the two antagonists’ cabins (they refused to meet in the same room), never letting up until he had a deal.

Yes, that would “justify” a one day trip in a four year presidency, but you know what, that was for some semblance of, uh, peace in the Middle East, whereas this is a bid for America’s ninth Olympic Games, an admittedly simple point of pride in the international community, you dullard. You see, this isn’t so much a gamble as it is part of the job that we, the nation, elected him to do. But Ricky wasn’t done yet, were you?

There were many observers who believed the president wouldn’t make the trip unless he had been given private assurances that his presence would put Chicago over the top.

This must be the same “secret message” that Brazilian President Luiz Inacio might have received, right? Because he was also in Copenhagen, maybe they gave it to his country because he has more charisma and pull on the international scene, but something tells me this is not the case. Something tells me this has more to do with his ability to appease both socialist Latin Americans and giant money hungry corporations and that Rio made the perfect candidate for an historic Olympiad. Regardless, Mr. Moran (who is highly skeptical of this Olympic Congress), speculated this:

With billions of dollars at stake, Chicago wouldn’t be the first city told one thing while the committee went off and did something else.

What?! Do you think that Tokyo, Madrid and Rio got the very same message? Or do you think that their heads of state showed up because, oh I don’t know, that’s their day job. Olympic Committees don’t grant nods to cities just to fool their national executives to ship over to an arbitrarily picked city, that’s something that only an asshole would do.

For the record, if you read Pajamas Media, you probably have sex with your cousins. But for the curious, you can read more, here.

More Olympic goodies after the jump:

Continue reading ‘much ado about nothing?’


Dems shouldn’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows

Oh heavens be praised, the do-nothing boobs that have been squabbling over the measure of moderation with which they will crush the pitiful Republican opposition on health care appear to have finally “nutted up” and decided to get this thing over the hill once and for all. And good God they’re doing it in style! I feel like like a dirty Chris Matthews impersonator saying something like “nut up,” but man am I feeling not shame for these guys for the first time.

Senate Majority Leader, and usual spineless cretin Harry Reid has reportedly claimed that there will absolutely be a public option in the final bill passed, you can read a little bit more on that stunning show of spine, here. Meanwhile, perhaps most promisingly, Obama hasn’t consulted with any of those nincompoops on the “far side” of the aisle since May, and Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA) has promised that there’s “no room” for Republicans in the Senate debate on health care legislation. Oh, and Mr. Harkin also promised a public option in the final bill (which he says will be on the Prez’s desk by Christmas).

Now, I wonder if any of this has to do with the much ballyhooed NYT/CBS poll that found out that the vast majority of Americans support a public option? Or maybe they smelled the sweet smell of common sense and decency and decided that maybe they should stop being giant babies about passing meaningful but moderate health care reform and just do it. Okay, so fine, maybe they did need the weatherman to let them know which way the wind is blowing, but for these toothless gastropods, not bad.

NOW! That being said, there’s still the matter of a certain tapioca-brained Sen. Tom Carper (D-DE) who is planning on seducing the drunken right wing fringe with the idea of a public option run state by state, so that states with worthless governments like, say, Iowa or Mississippi or (jumping Jesus Christ) South Carolina would be shit out of luck. Tom Carper is, of course, a first class boob and (of course) a self declared “moderate”(read; turd muncher). Read more about why we should store this dinosaur’s political career in the same meat locker as Max Baucus here, here.


indoctrinators: BUSTED!

sirenMatt Drudge has uncovered video evidence of our nations children being indoctrinated! Look at these, helpless, soon to be pinko kids as they praise their inglorious leader, Barack Obama:

Oh, devastating! This is surely the damning evidence that every half baked loon in this country needs to say, “enough is enough! I AM MOVING TO THE MOON!” This video, by the way, was posted as a “SHOCK VIDEO” link on The Drudge Report this morning. Thank goodness that someone like Matt Drudge is able to take a video like this and put it in its proper context for mass media consumption. If you watch this video and you get a queezy feeling in your stomach hearing children repeating our presidents name and lauding the racial accomplishment of his rise to the office, you, my friend, might be a “pinhead.”