Archive for October, 2009

29
Oct
09

Joe Lieberman is an asshole (episode 1)

This will surely not be the last installment of “Joe Lieberman is an asshole” series, so this is episode one. Sure there are plenty of prequels to this episode, like say sponsoring a piece of legislation authorizing force in Iraq, or being a prude, hating fun and being an incredible douche on the tee vee. But since this happened yesterday, this is episode one. For those of you too lazy to click on the link, Lieberman has told reporters that he’s “strongly considering” joining the inevitable Republican filibuster of the Health Care bill wandering around in the Senate Chamber right now.

Despite what those jokers over at Gawker (please read that, it’s incredible) might be telling you, the man is claiming that he doesn’t like the Public Option, and that’s why he’s doing this. Well of course he doesn’t like the Public Option… he’s an asshole! It’s almost like there’s some sort of “no assholes allowed” clause in this thing where people who are assholes aren’t allowed to like this thing. Granted, I have no idea how Keith Olbermann got into the thing, but its power accuracy is still uncanny.

24
Oct
09

Glenn Greenwald Dunks

Like Paul Krugman before him, Glenn Greenwald has jumped up, smashed the backboard and screamed “boomshakalakalaka!” over the corps of conservative complainers playing full court press. Sports analogies may not be my strong point, but making conservative critics look like fools is Greenwald’s, and boy does he deliver what should be considered the final word on the White House’s “War on FOX.”

Greenwald’s Salon piece came in response to Tucker Carlson (where did they dig him up from?), who had written a whiney, sniveling little article about the Liberal Media’s refusal to call out Obama on persecuting the idiots and the liars over at FOX News. Well, of course, the “Liberal” Media has come out and complained very loudly about the gross injustice of calling a spade a spade, and Greenwald has the links to prove it. Citing strong White House criticism liberal lions from CNN, The New York Times, MSNBC, The Baltimore Sun and NPR on the matter, Greenwald easily drowns out Carlson’s whine with pure fact.

But he’s not done there. Greenwald goes from there to cite worse and more legitimate muffling of the press corps under Bush,  suggesting that that administration engaged in illegal quashing of the press corps critical abilities.

All that hand-wringing rhetoric:  why?  Because the Obama administration threatened to criminally prosecute Fox?  Or because the adminstration surveilled its reporters’ telephone calls?  Or illegally obtained their telephone records?  Or shot missiles at hotels in which they were staying?  Or dropped bombs on their offices?  Or imprisoned them for years without charges?  Or barred Fox reporters from riding on administration planes?  Or conspired to “weed out” any critical voices from being heard on network and cable news programs?   No, those are all things that the Bush administration did to reporters (see the links) — all well above and beyond the numerous, constant rhetorical attacks from the Bush White House on media organizations they perceived to be hostile.  Where was Tucker Carlson when that was happening, or Ruth Marcus, or Anderson Cooper, or David Carr?

Blammo! The “Liberal” Media lie, exposed here for what it is. The Obama Administration has had the unfortunate gall to be open in their criticism of FOX News’ irresponsibility, they’ve been upfront about blacklisting them, and they’ve taken no legal action. There’s no Nixonian paranoia here, just a well founded understanding that FOX News is a tabloidy conservative mouthpiece incapable of honesty or righteous reporting. Here’s how he finished:

Numerous establishment journalists have strongly condemned the Obama White House for its criticisms of Fox — exactly the opposite of Carlson’s complaints. The discrepancy between that behavior and their conduct towards the Bush White House’s press attacks also demonstrates, as usual, that reality is the exact opposite of the Right’s incessant and petulant complaints about “The Liberal Media.”

Booyah, kids. Booyah.

16
Oct
09

kids who get to meet President Obama say the darndest things

Too bad Obama had such a fiercely directional mic, otherwise we’d be hearing a big ol’ “awwwww” from this New Orleans town hall sesh:

(Via ThinkProgress)

15
Oct
09

tonight… we are all DEVO

Earlier today I wrote up a little bit that I thought neatly summarized the lunacy of the right wing response to baby gormandizer Rush Limbaugh’s big NFL rejection. As it turns out, that “little bit” isn’t even the tip of the insanity iceberg… that tip would come here.

Noted journalist and leading political commentator “tsquare” posted this on America’s “leading” “right of center” blog. Under the ostentatious banner of “Tonight… we are all Rush Limbaugh,” and ending with a famous quote from Pastor Martin Niemöller about the Holocaust, the article goes from whiny, to batshit crazy, to downright offensive all in about 300 words.

With all the class and elegance of a self-righteous teenager, “tsquare” rails on about “the enemy” of Rush and “this great nation,” those on the left who have come to steal his “dreams.” The best line is this one:

We all have our dreams in life… such as they might be. Rush dreamed of being an owner in the NFL.

No wait, never mind, the funniest line is someone else’s (placed in this context, of course)  You know this quote:

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.

It’s from Pastor Niemöller, it’s about the Holocaust. Of course, we’re not really talking about humanity’s nadir, the death of seventeen million people, the unparalleled repression of human rights or the conquest of the most densely populated continent on earth, we’re talking about a controversial multi-millionaire media gadfly not getting to partially own an NFL franchise. You people are animals.

Continue reading ‘tonight… we are all DEVO’

15
Oct
09

rush limbaugh being denied the rams is a national embarassment

Full time drug addled blimp and occasional conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh has officially been denied his bid of the St. Louis Rams, not that he had much of a chance to begin with. It’s a shame that such a prominent media figure would gamble the prestige of his program on a trifle! Limbaugh’s critics have called the whole misguided venture a “boondoggle,” putting the ultra conservative fatty under the unflattering spotlight of mainstream media attention.

That was until now. A few brave boneheads in the conservative corner are rallying behind el Rushbo, bravely rectifying the mainstream media’s relentless assault on their righteous leader! Michelle Malkin has hinted at a possible NFL liberal bias, while Doug Powers is outraged that a league that has ungodly scum like Al Davis and, er, Fergie obtain partial ownership of teams. Doug Powers also helpfully reprints some of the Black Eyed Peas uber-controversial lyrical content (hint, they say “nigga” and talk about sex!!!) Meanwhile, over at the National Review Online, racial sensitivity super-genius Andy McCarthy likened Limbaugh the Martyr to Martin Luther King (I shit you not):

That’s how Rush treats people — in the Martin Luther King aspiration that the content of one’s character is what matters, not the color of one’s skin. Yet, in the media narrative, he’s somehow the one who’s got a race issue — and the guys who trade on race, live and breathe it 24/7, are held up as our public conscience. The Left calls this “progress.” I call it perversion.

As much as I love a good conservative hijacking of an historically liberal figure, this is unbelievable even by their own heinous knuckle-dragging nature. But that’s nothing compared to the screaming stupidity coming from PajamasMedia over the issue where they’re shocked, shocked to find out that Rush Limbaugh would attract controversy. PM kindly refers us to both Fergie and Michael Vick as a reminder of the painful double standard in the NFL. The only thing is, is that Vick spent a year in jail, served out his suspension and then was allowed back into the league after apologizing profusely to the press, and Fergie is, well, a pop-star, not an ideologue with a penchant for hate speech and incredibly hypocritical drug addictions (at least her past drug addictions are endearing in a recovering white trash kinda way). The brief post concludes with this stinker of a thinker:

Something to keep in mind regarding how much “controversy” Rush would bring to the NFL.

You can read this drivel, here. Look, trying to pretend that Rush Limbaugh just as or less controversial than Fergie, from America’s most M.O.R. hip hop outfit, or Michael Vick, the washed up wunderkind is silly, and the reason why the NFL isn’t opening its doors wide to el Rushbo is because that fat turd did this on ESPN:

So can these whiners give the whole liberal bias thing a rest and just call a lightning rod douchebag a lightning rod douchebag and realize that the NFL is a pro-sports organization and just doesn’t wanna deal with this shit.

14
Oct
09

Ross Douthat is an idiot (part II)

So I’m back after an extended Columbus Day break, and while I was gone, this came to my attention. You guys know me, and you know I love the Times, but to publish Ross Douthat’s blithering stupidity is ridiculous and shameful for such an important and righteous publication. Now Ross has published garbage in the past, and he’s been a target here before as well, but in the Sunday Times, he went too far!

In a snarky little peice, Mr, Douthat helpfully pointed out not only is Barack’s Nobel Prize bad for the country, but also that it’s most likely bad for him as a president as well. In the world that Ross occupies (and gets paid by the New York Times to muse about), Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize is the rough equivalent to invading a country for no reason, failing to do anything about the visible signs that the economy was about to collapse, letting the infrastructure of the nation fall apart, and illegally torturing people because it raises the stakes on the already “implosible expectations” that his presidency was burdened with.

Ross Douthat, you are sniveling puddin’ head of a nincompoop. This article has it all, the classic anti-European xenophobia:

Here was a chance to establish himself, definitively, as an American president — too self-confident to accept an unearned accolade, and too instinctively democratic to go along with European humbug.

He didn’t take it. Instead, he took the Nobel Peace Prize.

Big mistake.

Good work Ross, looking back at history, all great American presidents have defined themselves as definitely not European, which means they are de facto American. Not this latte sipping arugula eating Hawaiian bastard, though.

The article also bears the stamp of the classic conservative double standard called “American Exceptionalism.” Conservatives like Ross Douthat like to talk loudly about how America, the greatest, most righteous and powerful nation on the planet has the right to dick over the Third World, invade countries meaninglessly, and act unilaterally against reason because we’re freakin’ awesome. And then, when it’s convenient they love to tell you that America should aim low because they’re pragmatists and they know what’s up. For instance, America can’t have universal health care like every other industrialized nation on the planet because we, the richest, most powerful nation on earth can’t afford to cover all the Mexicans running across our border. This rears it’s stupid head repeatedly throughout Ross’ stupid article:

Here was an opportunity to cut himself free, in a stroke, from the baggage that’s weighed his presidency down — the implausible expectations, the utopian dreams, the messianic hoo-ha.

Here was a place to draw a clean line between himself and all the overzealous Obamaphiles, at home and abroad, who poured their post-Christian, post-Marxist yearnings into the vessel of his 2008 campaign.

Yes Ross, those over-zealous “Obamaphiles” who hoped that a charismatic black man with a background in social justice work and constitutional law might bring his intelligence and rhetorical gifts to the White House and have the US not look like an asshole country for a change, those pie in the sky post-Christian, post-Marxist hope that our country can do better. You got us, buddy.

I wonder if the ineptitude of the Federal Government’s response to Katrina would have been harder to take if Bush had set the level high during the first six or so years of his presidency? Maybe Reagan looked so good (through rose colored retrospectacles) because Jimmy Carter was such a load for his four preceding years? I wonder if it would have been more difficult to see horrible pictures released from Abu Ghraib if we didn’t already know Bush was a crook and an asshole after he needlessly invaded Iraq and had signed the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act into existence?

Ross Douthat, you’re an idiot.

09
Oct
09

the Politico staff wins a pulitzer

In a terrific leap of logic, Politico is reporting a definitive link between a celebrity child molester and Barack Obama via campaign contributions. As it turns out, Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign have been palling around with people who support a guy who “palled around” with a 13 year old girl thirty years ago. Yes, that’s right, Barack Obama is, in the eyes of a select few, is now connected with a child molester.

So kids, this is journalism. Brilliant.

All kidding aside, this is a travesty. Politico is a smarmy little website for wannabe wonks and Beltway outsiders to gawk at the childish machinations of our nations fetid capital. This is a website that has recently been busted for very literally running an Republican press release as an actual news story, and is a website that makes its living by tabloidizing American politics. Some call it grand political theater, others call it the dumbing down of important things so that even the half baked mental third-graders that read the site during non-election years will both be able to comprehend politics and still be interested after they do so.

You can read this heaping pile of dog shit, here.