16
Sep
09

The Following People Are Real Animals

The Book of Genesis and Such:

This blog may not be the first to call El Rushbo a drug addled blimp and it certainly won’t be the first to say that Lindsay Graham retains his youthful complexion by consuming buckets of raw squirrel meat and homogenized dog semen. But someone has to do the dirty work, someone who’s not Judge Judy has to say “don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining,” or “ya can’t put lipstick on a pig and call it a muppet,” or “you can’t shove me down the stairs and tell me it’s a roller coaster.” It’s too valuable to America (the land I love) to not reduce complex social and political issues to bad guys and good guys filtered through a dirty mind and abused folksy phrases.

It had occurred to me and a few select group of reasonable humans during President Obama’s joint session speech that the enemies of reason and morality are not the screaming nincompoops and winy babies we once thought they were, nor are they the dangerous idiot-savants that we sometimes think they might be. Oh no, in this harsh reality, these people are animals preaching dumb things to dumb scared people. They are beyond reason and beyond hope, but they might not be beyond shame; whether they be creeps, wonks, crooks, liars or Republicans, this blog is out for blood, and will offer up howling condemnations that will surely echo unanswered through the giant vacuum that is the Interspace. So, without further ado, the following people are absolute animals, and may God have mercy on their wretched souls.

-Beat Grylls

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1 Response to “The Following People Are Real Animals”


  1. September 16, 2009 at 7:08 am

    Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.


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